I'm doing my grandmothering these days via videocalls through my computer. I'll be the first to admit that this is not warm-and-fuzzy grandmothering, but there is an upside to it. The time Emily and I spend on the calls is more focused than telephone time. While we are on camera, she has my undivided attention and she reciprocates. I wait patiently while she gathers words to express ideas. She shows me things, like books and drawings. She tells me about her playdates and favorite people, and when she runs out of things to share, she leaves the room and lets me talk to the rest of the family. The experience is structured and orderly and I'm fascinated by the opportunity it presents. My parents did not have this method available to them when they were in their grandparenting years. They both would have used it, I'm sure. And here's another good feature: It saves travel time when the grandchild lives in Hawaii and the grandmother doesn't, which is our case.
Of course there is a downside to all this since nothing really beats personal visits when it comes to grandmothering. Even though nothing beats those visits, videocalling is a worthwhile substitute. I'm glad it is part of my life now, and that's the way I feel about Emily as well. My son and daughter-in-law adopted her from China a few years ago. I've been to Hawaii to visit with her many times since she joioned our family, and I'll be going back as time goes on. Right now, though, videocalling is working fine for all of us. It makes me feel grateful to be living in an age when such things are possible.
